#EndBullying

Hey! Yo!
Fatso!
Why you so ugly?
What happened to your face?
Stop looking at me.
Get out of this place.

The bullies
They push
And they pull
They punch
And you feel the crunch
The pain
Nothing to gain
Yet they run you off
Shove you around
Take what’s yours
Act like it’s theirs

Ripping
Destroying
Tearing down your emotions
Peeling you back
One layer at a time
Toying with your mind
Playing their ‘games’
But they ain’t any fun
Using their mouth like a gun
Their words like bullets

My momma always said to say
‘Sticks and stones may break my bones
But words can never hurt me’
I’m here to say that ain’t true
My momma was wrong
Those words did hurt
Those words broke me
Broke my soul
Entered my ears
Like fire in my bones
Nagging and gagging and ragging
Non-stop
Rolling around in my head
Day and night

I tried to stop them
Tried not to listen
But I couldn’t
The lies burned into my soul
Like eternal tattoos
There’s nothing I can do
To get them out

And even now
All grown up
Those words still haunt me
Like ghosts of old
The souls of the dead
Floating round in my head
Screaming in agony
Trying to get out
But they’re trapped
By the lies I was fed
By those looking for a laugh
Trying to feel good
Trying to look cool

They got their kicks
They had a good time
But little do they know
The destruction they caused
The pain they inflicted
The hatred they engaged
Instead of looking for love
Seeking to share
Striving to help
Do unto others
That’s the golden rule
As you would have them do unto you
Not as you think they want
But as you would want

Kindness
Consideration
Justice
Love
Joy
Peace
Care
Hope

The things we all want
The goodness we desire
Yet instead we push negativity
We play the wrong tune
We say what we shouldn’t
And do the opposite of what we want

The cycle continues
The madness won’t stop
Anger breeds resentment
Guilt breeds fear
The offspring of our pain
Returns once again
Who will put a stop to them?
Where are the warriors and heroes of old?
Is anyone out there?
Does anyone care?

I sit here
In my corner
Alone with my thoughts
Whispering to myself
In the dark corners of my mind
Reaching into the far recesses
Cleaning out the cobwebs
Looking for hope
Seeking the innocence
I once possessed
Held fast too
My strangled beliefs
My shattered dreams
Long since torn from my grasp

Seeking to find a bit of saneness
On the couch of my shrink
To drowning them out entertainment
I forget about them for a time
Yet when I’m alone
Once again in the attic of my mind
Dark shadows and haunting thoughts
Come whispering again
Slowly returning
Haunting old ground
Refusing to let go
Inflicting their pain
Affecting my sanity
Changing me
From within
Making me someone I don’t recognize
Doing things that aren’t me

And so I sit here
Taking one breath after another
Trying to pull myself together
Seeking to forgive
And forget
To let go
Of the pain
And past memories
To move on
Toward a better future
And all I desire
As I pick up the shattered pieces
Of my life that remains
In some semblance of power
Yet all that remains are pieces of me
Poorly reflected
Of who I was once before battered and torn
By bullies and those who refused to defend me
Giving them permission
To continue their games

Yet I refuse to remain
To play by their rules
I get up
And walk out
Leaving them to continue their game
They don’t understand why I don’t push back
Why I don’t stay within the limits that they have established
But I can’t

I have to walk away
Leave them behind
Carried away
By a still small voice
That assures me there is a better place
Where I won’t be bullied and badgered
A place where I will find love and acceptance
My uniqueness embraced

Old wounds wound and bound
Old hurts healed and sealed
As hope slowly seeps back in
Peace restores my soul
And those old voices get tired of waiting for pain
They move on
Allowing me to find myself
Express my voice
And once again discover
My inner child
Among the broken pieces I still cherish